So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
