Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're too hungover to prance.
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