he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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