Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize