I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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