It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
