Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
