I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
