omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
