Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
