Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
