? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
