There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize