You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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