O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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