They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
