fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize