It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
