This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
how does that bad decision feel?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
