I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
