I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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