I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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