Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
