He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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