Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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