Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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