Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am available for nakedness
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
