Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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