I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
