just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize