Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
