Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
