they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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