somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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