dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
