got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize