Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
