This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
