i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
