Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize