I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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