So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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