I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
