I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
now i know why i became what i already was.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
