You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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