He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
