Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
