Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
