I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had sex on a roof
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
