wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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