i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
