The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize