All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
