Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
