Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
