You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize