Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
