Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
