Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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