I want to stick my p in your. b.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
