i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
