I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
