I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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