I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
