We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
