you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize