If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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