seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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