Have you finally orgasmed yet?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
