I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Enjoy the penises
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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