Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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