Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
