i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
