I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
