The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
