I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
