wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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