I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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