I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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