i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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