So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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