i already hear my dad disowning me
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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