walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
