is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
