we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
